The day I said no to my dream.

If you’ve followed my blog for the past… okay, I ALWAYS talk about what I THOUGHT my career as an Author would look like.

Unfamiliar?

It would go a little something like this, “When I was younger, I always saw myself writing under a traditional publishing house. Paperbacks. Book tours and signings. Blah blah blah.”

I have seen great success as a self-published Author. The bulk of my readers and income comes from eBooks. As amazing as that is, paperbacks still and always will hold a special place in my heart. I legit get elated when I make post office runs to ship paperbacks to my readers. The joy that I feel when I get a new box of paperbacks in… ah… it’s truly out of this world.

So earlier this year I randomly submitted to a traditional publishing house. It was one of the two I grew up reading. The one I went to the library faithfully for. Their authors always gave me the good stuff, and I supported them faithfully. When I made a mall run, the bookstore was one of my first stops. As soon as a new book came out I was on it.

To make a long story short, the publisher… the one I grew up reading… the one I saw myself writing for… the one that helped shape my mentality of what an ‘Author’ was… accepted my submission! Yo, they sent your girl an offer! *Insert scream here*

You know what, this deserves a real scream! Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh THEY SENT ME AN OFFER!!!!!!!! THEY SENT ME AN OFFER!!!!!! THE PUBLISHING COMPANY THAT I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO WRITE FOR SENT ME AN OFFER!!!!!!!!!!

Okay…

By the title of this blog I’m sure you’re like… but what happened? Well, writing for a traditional publishing company has ALWAYS been my dream. Always. Next month marks my two year mark as a fiction author, and although I went the nontraditional route, I honestly couldn’t be happier with my career and the platform I use.

That’s the point of this blog post.

The day I was presented with my dream, I realized just how much BETTER my reality is. As I looked over that offer and realized just how much freedom and control I would have to give up… that dream looked more like a nightmare. I’m so ashamed to say that, but it’s the truth.

What do you do when your reality is better than your dream? When you’ve spent over a decade waiting for something and when you finally get it, it’s less than what you thought it would be? I don’t know. I’m still figuring that out, lol. But what I can tell you is to be grateful for where you are and what you have. It’s okay to alter your goals and dreams. Just pursue them. And be happy. And at peace. And don’t feel forced to do something that sounds or appears better if it isn’t what truly sets your soul on fire.

Yea. Do what sets your soul on fire.

For now… being an indie author sets my soul on fire. It’s blazing, honey. The freedom that I have to be creative… the control I have over every aspect of my books and my career… NOTHING is worth giving that up. Period.

So that’s my story for the day. I said no to my dream… because I’ve realized… my reality is somuch better. Can you say the same? If not, what can you do to change that?

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