Yesterday, I was reminded of something I’ve always known. People who love themselves seek wholeness. They care for their entire well-being – body, mind, soul and spirit. I realized yesterday that I was neglecting my spirit. My oneness with God. That neglect had my ENTIRE being out of whack.
See, what happens is… when you aren’t getting your fill from the Source, you seek to have artificial replacements by other things or people. In reality; nothing will ever satisfy you the way God will. For me, I was empty, and I was trying to satisfy that God sized hole with other things. Mainly, work.
As a full-time writer it is SO easy to lose myself in my work. There have been days where I write from sun up to sun down. Heck, pre-sun up to sun down.
When I was centered and balanced that was fine. When I was waking up praying and meditating and reading my bible that was fine. When I was having my breakfast and seeing to myself first that was fine. When I was taking the time for food breaks and social breaks to connect with real life humans that was fine. It became an issue when my writing consumed me.
I wasn’t doing it because of my love and passion for writing. For creating. For giving life. I was doing it because it felt like it was all I had. I was doing it because I was trying to fill that void.
I say this all the time, but obviously I let it slip my mind – when you go to man, or substances, or things, or WORK, with God sized needs and expectations you’re going to be disappointed.
The MORE I worked the LESS satisfied I was.
It got to the point where I was disgusted with the entire process. The entire process, fam. Do you know how devastating that was? To be disgusted by my greatest joy and passion? That hurt. That’s enough to make a G like me cry.
I decided to take a break from releasing for the rest of this month to focus on my rebrand. A part of that rebrand includes consistent blogging, one book release a month, AND… (THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART) doing straight up contemporary traditional old school feel good romance. I’m talking Francis Ray, Donna Hill, Brenda Jackson, Beverly Jenkins romance.
That’s what I’ll be doing in August!
No more of my rough romance. No more of my urban romance. No more of my crazy love stories. I’m dropping nothing but feel good, soul wrenching ( but just for a little while. I’ll make it feel better ), emotional rollercoaster, snatching your breath and edges romance.
Do you hear me?
But before I sat down to write a sentence I had to get my mind right. That’s what happened yesterday. I realized that it wasn’t because I wasn’t satisfied with my writing, or my success, or my platform or any of those things that had me feeling down and empty. It was because I was off balance. I wasn’t centered. I wasn’t seeing to myself. I wasn’t WHOLE.
Beloved, your girl was BREAKING. CHIPPING. CRACKING. My cup no longer runneth over! My love and wisdom and conviction and passion and purpose was seeping through.
I was trying to use my work and writing to fill the voids of not seeing to myself and my relationship with God like I should. I ached for something… for Him… and nothing could satisfy me. So, with that realization I was IMMEDIATELY filled with peace. My Potter began to reshape me. His clay. The holes along my soul were sealed to allow me to hold in all of His love for me. All of His wisdom and creativity that he decides to share with me.
And you know what that led to? Peace. Happiness. Wholeness. Loving what I do again. Wanting to do what I do again.
That’s wholeness. Taking care of YOU. Every part of you. Not seeking without what must be found within.
Are you whole? Are you on a journey of daily wholeness? Are you seeing to your needs? ALL of your needs? Mind, body, soul and spirit? Are you eating right? Exercising? Taking time to relax and get your mind right? You got those goals and dreams and visions? What about your soul? Who are you loving on and communing with on earth? Family? Friends? Spouse? Kids? Dogs? What about your spirit? Are you allowing God to love on you and be loved by you? What about your finances? You taking care of business?
People who love themselves seek wholeness. They don’t neglect one part of their life for another. They understand that in order for one area to flourish abundantly so must the others.
I say all the time that I don’t want to be rich; I want to be wealthy. Well, I don’t want just my finances to prosper; I want EVERY area of my life to prosper. That’s the key. That’s wholeness.
Are you whole?