Lemonade.

About an hour or so ago, I was sitting in the middle of my bed seething. It infuriated me. Like, how could Facebook not let me have a personal page with the name B. Love? That’s my freaking name! Okay, so that’s not the name on my birth certificate, but I can’t tell you how long I’ve been known as B. Love. Even before I started using that as my pen name that was my name at jobs and at school.

So yea.

Having a total and complete stranger tell me that I can’t have B. Love as my name because that’s not a name that people call me on a daily basis even after I submitted mail and bank cards that said otherwise… ooh I was pissed.

An amazing thing happened, though.

See, I’ve been struggling with the idea of whether or not I wanted to separate my fiction and nonfiction work for 2018. The average person might say yes, but since my nonfiction books and classes were read and purchased by my fiction readers it really didn’t make sense a couple of months back to separate the two. Lately I’ve been having the desire to do more with my classes and nonfiction books. I’ve wanted something that I could do full-time when I didn’t want to write fiction novels.

Not saying I no longer want to write fiction novels, but like… a plan B or something I don’t know.

I might get tired of this in fifteen years and want to take a year off. Yea. Fifteen years from now. Anyway, so I was like… let me start this fresh page and create a platform strictly for my self-love and womanhood books and classes readers and friends. But Facebook was like, ‘Nah, bruh. You can’t eemm do that. Not unless you use your government.’ Let me stop playing, lol.

I was sooooo disappointed. Yes, I knew there was a ninety eight percent chance they wouldn’t let me do it, but that two percent chance that they would was strong!!! Obviously. *Insert side eye emoji*

Okay, so I’m sitting there in bed thinking of a master plan. Thinking of a way to buck the system. Thinking of a way to use B. Love without Facebook knowing. Then it hit me. Why do I have to use B. Love? Yes, that’s my nickname. Yes, that’s my pen name. Yes, everyone calls me B… B. Love if they’re feeling fancy. But why does my self-love persona have to have the same name? I mean… I’m still going to be talking about self-love and stuff in my fiction novels, so why not create a lane specifically for it?

Cool.

So what’s going to be your name?

There’s no way I was going to use my first name because I honestly just don’t like it for me right now. Every time I get on Facebook and see it I cringe, and when people call me it instead of B because that’s my name on Facebook… uh… it just rubs me all kinds of wrong. I ended up figuring out how to completely detach myself from my personal page and still work from my author page – B. Love. There was still just the matter of what name I was going to use for my self-love lane.

Out of what seemed like nowhere something inside of me said use one of your middle names. Use Constance.

Constance.

Constance Love.

Feeling led to look up my name for the first time in my life, I was totally and completely shocked at what Constance means.

Constance: Firm of purpose. Constancy, from the Latin Constantia. Firmness of purpose – the trait of being resolute. Constancy – the quality of being unchanging or unwavering, as in purpose, love, or loyalty; firmness of mind; faithfulness. Steadfast.

Upon further study and numerology I learned that people with this name have a deep inner desire to create and express themselves often in public speaking, writing or singing. They also yearn to have beauty around them in their home and work environment. They are orderly and detailed and are dedicated to building their lives on a solid foundation of order and service. They value truth, justice, discipline and may be quick tempered with those who do not. *I’m here for all this.*

To make a long story short, Constance fits me in a way that I never thought was possible. B. Love is perfect for me… but Constance is purpose for me. Finding out the meaning of my name further confirmed the path I’m walking down in life, and that would not have happened had Facebook not pissed me off.

The moral of this story? Make lemonade. I could’ve given up and went on with my life. I could’ve allowed that to piss me off for the rest of the day. I could’ve found a way to use B. Love or Author B. Love and not received the confirmation I needed to fulfill the purpose for my life. Instead, I made lemonade.

With a lot of things in life, this taught me that NO most times is a redirection. Rejection is redirection.

Rejection is redirection.. but you must pay attention.

Constance Love is about to travel down a lane of self-love and women’s empowerment that B. Love may not be fully able to because of the fiction stories she writes.

Update – I got it to let me use B. Love 🙂

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